Last night I made myself some overnight oats, which was actually a great trick as when I tried to have my usual argument with myself this morning about shall I exercise or stay in bed, I had to get up because I had to have my refuel meal.
I decided to go up to level 3 on the Joe Wicks DVD, bloody hell, who thought that 5 seconds more could make such a difference?
Feeling achey, but all pleased with myself. I got ready for work and enjoyed my oats
I was in pretty happy mood for a Monday, work was pretty quiet so I thought I would go online and look for some outfits for my birthday dinner with the boyfriend on Friday.
I'm not sure if this was the trigger, as I did find it quite depressing looking at all these slim women and all these lovely dresses and knowing that I was not going to be able to wear any of them but suddenly the black cloud arrived, I had managed to avoid it for the last few days but now it was well and truly here.
By the time I finished work I was a really bad mood and I really didn't know why!! I felt really fed up, angry & tearful. I wondered if it was a booze comedown from the weekend but I didn't drink anymore than a normal weekend.
I'm already blaming my boyfriend for being moody at the weekend and spending the entire time on the computer with the kids, I worked it out that the entire time the kids were awake and in the house, they were on the computer. Me, I just cleaned up.
I hated feeling like this and havent felt this bad since being on my tablets, it was literally a rollercoaster of emotions, by the time I got home I wanted to cry. To make matters worse, my boyfriend ended up having to work a bit late, which usually I wouldn't care about and be happy to have the extra time to myself, but today I wanted him home, I don't even know why as really I just wanted to shout at him for no reason whatsoever.
After being home for about an hour he messaged me to say he was on the train, so I decided to get dinner on the go. Normally I would offer to go and pick him up but I was so pissed off and fed up I decided he could walk for once. Childish I know.
He came home and seemed in a fairly good mood which made me feel a little bit better, we chatted a bit and he asked me how my day was, so I was honest and told him how I was feeling, I left out the part where he was to blame for everything that was wrong with the world, I didn't think that would help matters. He gave me a big cuddle and we sat and had a nice chilled night together, along with my cheesy meatballs. Heres hoping to a better day tomorrow.
Some weeks I feel like my brain has been swapped out. They loan it to (or from) sane people for a couple of weeks. I’m not entirely sure at this point if I’m the borrower or lender. Some weeks, someone (mostly my husband) can do or say something and I’ll laugh. Other weeks (this week) I want to cry/scream/kill the nearest passer-by. The problem is, I’m on the mini pill. I haven’t had a period in 10 years, that’s been great but now I’m starting to wonder if it really is? I keep reading horror stories about what the pill does to you (ok these are random stories on the internet but still!) but this doesn’t give me a cycle so I don’t know where my hormones are at. I am, by nature, extremely impatient, when I say extremely, I mean to the extreme of extreme. I cannot tolerate slow walkers or drivers, being late, disorganisation and just waiting for anything in general. I am an absolute delight! My husband, on the other hand, is the extreme of the extreme, OPPOSITE! He dithers, he is never on...
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