So I have spent the last few days feeling really sorry for myself. My mojo is creeping back but that little negative voice in my head aka Barry, is back for a visit and I didn't bloody invite him.
I have my first ever cold sore, which I am convinced everyone is staring at. I can feel it growing like its its own person, I shall name him Colin if this carries on much longer.
I don't feel like I have lost any weight or inches coming to the end of cycle one, even though I have still drank a fair amount of booze and had a few takeaways so probably shouldnt be surprised. This is making me panic as I have a hen do, a wedding and a girls weekend away coming up in about 6 weeks and everything I wear makes me look like a bound up piece of meat
I havent slept very well for the last few nights which I think is making my head whirl, it's just constant chatter in my head: "Dont forget to...." "What if .... happens?" "Why did .... do/say that?" and the very popular "Why isnt ..... replying to my message?" Oh its been such fun!
My boyfriend is then talking about going out for a few drinks after work, which my initial (internal) reaction was not very good. "Is he going to come home late? Is he going to be ok? Is something going to happen? I mean he only said he might go out!? I he even going??"
Then I realised that Barry the Bastard isn't in charge of me anymore! I went against him and messaged my friend and felt instantly better, then started thinking about what I was going to watch on TV, what I was going to make myself for dinner, house to myself YAY!!!!
Screw you Barry!! You're certainly not invited to sit on the sofa with me and watch 13 reasons why, you and Colin can eff right off.
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. - Winston Churchill If you fear failure, the above quote from Winston Churchill can be seen as comforting, failing at something can be a huge blow to our egos. But what if you aren't scared to fail? What if succeeding is the thing that scares you most? Failure is something that some of us are quite prepared for. Before we've even set out to do something, that voice in your head is already saying "it probably won't work out". We often prepare ourselves for the worst outcome to protect our fragile egos. If we fail, things will stay as they are and whether we are happy with our current situation or not, it is a lot easier to stay in a familiar situation. Of course, we don't want to fail, we'll feel rubbish about it, sometimes it means we can't do the things we had hoped for at the time, but ultimately, nothing has changed, and we can usually fall back into our old routin...
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