This is still me ❤️

I do love a list. I actually bought a book last year called The 52 list Project, which I haven't got round to using, I have an app on my phone for my shopping list, I even have a list of things I want to write about. I think its stems from my mum, she always wrote a to do list of the housework etc and its such a great satisfaction to cross things off. Back in 2009, I decided to write a bucket list of things I wanted to do before I was 30 which I came across recently, I realised that I had actually crossed quite a few off, not necessarily before I was 30 but still. Some of them I looked at and wondered why they were on there in the first place . I've broke it down into sections below: Things I have managed to cross off the list. Things I still want to do. Things I have removed off the list New things to add to the list. 1. Been there, done that. Go to a football match Go to Paris Learn to shoot Go camping Go on a gondola in Venice Visit the Grand Canyon Eat in Dans le Noir Tr

Well that weekend went pretty quickly, but I have news. We have set our wedding date. Hurrah! We went to view a venue on Saturday and it was perfect, my boyfriend wanted a bit of a longer engagement but I don't want to wait too long, so we finally agreed on next May. Not only does this mean LOTS of planning, although we're keeping it pretty simple, it also means lots of weight loss is required. I realised, after reading a few people's reviews on lean in 15, that people had weighed & measured themselves at the beginning & end of the 3 month plan. Dammit! I had stayed away from the sad step since well before Christmas, when I realised I had put on 2 stone in the last 3 years. I got up at 5:30am this morning to get ready and after trying to put it off for about 10 minutes by tidying up random things in the kitchen, I reluctantly pulled the scales out and crept on. 5lbs I have put on 5lbs!! My heart sank. I then got out the tape measure, yep, measurements were more too

Today is a new day. Thank God. After yesterday's post, a good friend gave me her honest opinion of the situation with my boyfriend and I realised that he is not totally to blame and I am certainly not blameless. One of my best skills at work is communication, I have to deal with a lot of different people and always get good feedback on my communication skills. I also like to think I'm good at this with friends as well, I'm good at staying in touch with people and rarely fall out with people, so why am I so terrible at it in my relationship? After yesterday barely speaking all day I was still frustrated and angry. I had plans to meet a friend for dinner and he was playing football. I wasn't planning on drinking as I wanted to be healthy and also because I was so annoyed, but this was also the reason that I wanted to drink. I wanted to get away from the angry tearful feeling, so I went to lunch with a friend and had a couple of glasses of red. Ooh that felt better. Mist

Am I being unreasonable? Last night I had a complete meltdown. As I mentioned before, my boyfriend has children who we have every other weekend. Unless we have planned to do something, they like to spend pretty much the entire weekend playing the computer, which incidentall y is in my living room. If it's not the computer it's watching football, this leaves me four options: Join them - sometimes I do sit there reading or just feigning interest just to be party to it but it gets tedious really quickly and too noisy to concentrate on reading Go out - then I feel guilty that I'm not around if they do decide to do something. Clean the house - there's only so much cleaning you can do and as soon as I clean it it's a mess again. Go and sit in the bedroom - watch my own TV in my room circa 1995 As you can guess, I'm normally sat for 75% of those weekends in my bedroom, like a 15-year-old. At first I didn't mind but now it's kind of become the norm and I'

I am so relieved that Moany Monday is over, it didn't really get any better until I got home.
 I had to do the trek to get my car, which involved a train journey so slow I'm sure I could have walked quicker, at one point it sat for 10 minutes just outside the station I needed to get off at and I had no phone signal to call my taxi driver to let him know, I felt like summoning my inner hulk and tearing the doors apart.
 Then, what should have been a 5 minute cab journey took 25 minutes, I would have walked but the car was in a pub car park in the middle of nowhere. I was sorely tempted to go straight in the pub and order myself a bottle of wine.  I didn't, I got in my car and drove home, cursing any driver that got in my way.
 But enough of that, as I said moany Monday is over and I have woken up with a much more positive outlook, much to my boyfriends delight, I'm not sure he could handle another day of it.
 I woke up at 5:30 this morning with the headache that's be

Monday is back and I'm pretty sure it's punishing me for being naughty over the weekend.
 Firstly I woke up thinking it was Sunday, then quickly realised it was Monday & I had left my car at the pub yesterday after lunch with my friend, it seemed like such a good idea at the time, but now, in the cold light of day, I realised I would have to faff about on a Monday night going to pick it up.
 I went to make my lunch (chicken with chipotle paste & salad for those of you who are interested, I am now quite addicted to chipotle paste) whilst doing this I dropped pretty much everything I picked up and banged every part of my body on some cupboard or drawer.
 I took my bruised body upstairs with my hot water and lemon, careful not to trip and pour it over myself, switched on the TV, ready to watch Good Morning Britain - I find Piers Morgan strangely entertaining (I know) - only to find the sky Q mini box wasn't connecting (again) I had already reset the bloody thing twice

After wobbling on the wagon on Friday, yesterday I came completely off and got run over by it. 
I started off so well, according to the regime, I should have reduced carbs until after I had exercised. Having not done a food shop since the following weekend, I didn't have many options, so I settled for 5 slices of Bernard Matthews turkey breast & a rather brown banana, which was actually surprisingly filling. My boyfriend was out taking one of the children to football so I begged him to get some eggs so that I didn't succumb to another sausage roll from the bakers, which is what they were all having. 
He returned with the much sought after eggs but I was so preoccupied with making sure I had everything I needed on my shopping list that I forgot to have lunch & set off to Sainsbury's lunchless. 
By the time I got halfway round my head was pounding and I felt really weak. I just wanted to get out of there, but I needed to go to Argos to pick up the weights & benc