Finding my focus

Doesn't it make a nice change to have sunny weather for a long weekend! I certainly made the most of it, getting as much of the vitamin D as I possibly could by sitting in the garden on Friday with Toby, who honestly thinks he is my husband. He sits in the husbands chair when he's not in it and tries to fight him when he does decide he wants to sit down and does the same with the bed. He follows me around all day keeping me company and is currently in his usual spot on the windowsill in the Sanctuary, making sure the bin men are doing their job.

On Saturday, we travelled to Harwich to visit my brother and niece in their new house. Its such beautiful house, with so much space, I couldn't help but get a bit excited for when we finally move. We had a lovely day, walking into the old town part for some food in the Samuel Pepys (fish and chips obvs!) We walked back to my brothers house along the beach, which is at the end of his road, stopping in the swing park with my niece. All that sea air left me tired! Thankfully I wasn't the one driving home.

On Sunday, we packed up our bags and headed to Canterbury for the day and night. Canterbury has been on my bucket list for a while, its only an hours drive away from us. I've seen some beautiful pictures online, although I did wonder if it would be quite as beautiful, I've been conned before! We had booked a late lunch in a little Italian restaurant called Pinocchios, which we had found on Tripadvisor - we ALWAYS go by Tripadvisor, it has not failed us yet. It was the cutest little restaurant and we were sat in the conservatory eating delicious food washed down with a nice bottle of wine, before taking ourselves on a little stroll around the beautiful historic city centre, which all seems to sit within what was formerly the castle walls, there are winding lanes lined with shops, bars and restaurants, we sat outside a pub overlooking the River Stour and caught a glimpse of the impressive Canterbury Cathedral. What's not to like? Its not surprising that it was voted 5th best place to live in the UK. I would live there myself if it wasn't so far away from my family and friends. We came across a bar called Houdinis Magic Bar, now this sounded fun! We went in and ordered some drinks and before we knew it, a magician was sat at our table. He gave the husband a card, gave him a list of 6 colours to choose from, when he had chosen, he was to write it on this card but was not allowed to show or tell me what it was. In the mean time, he gave me a dice with these 6 colours on, he told me to roll the dice whilst he turned around, look at the colour and then cover the dice. I did as he asked, I had rolled the dice on blue. When he turned around, I was fiercely protecting the dice, there was no way he was seeing what colour it was! He asked me a couple of unrelated questions, such as my name before telling me that the colour I had was blue. I was astonished, he went over to the next table before coming back a while later. This time, I was to move the dice under my hands so it was covered at all times, I wasn't to look at the colour, he even told the husband to hold the menu up so there was no way he could see. I must have turned that dice about twenty times, he kept asking me to turn again and again, he didn't say which way to turn it, he didn't even know if I was actually turning it. Finally, he asked me to look at the colour that was face up on the dice, it was yellow. He then asked the husband to turn over the card he had written on. It was only bloody yellow!! I still have no idea how he did this!!

On Monday, we went for another stroll around and got some lunch before heading home to a very indignant Toby, who was not impressed at being left overnight. I took myself up to bed early, I wanted to feel fresh the following day. For some reason, I felt far from fresh on Tuesday. In actual fact, I felt like a bloody zombie. Despite, getting myself up, ready and out of the house to get my lashes done at 10.30, I couldn't shake the tiredness. I went to B&M for some non essential items to see if that could shake the wooziness I was feeling, but it didn't work. I got home and had an entire newsletter to write, I had nothing. I just wanted to sleep, I was so tired and my mind was blank, I had no idea what to write. I gave up and went downstairs to watch some TV and take a breather from trying to force my brain to work. Has the magician taken my mojo? I somehow got a second wind around 8.30, most unusual. I managed to get my newsletter out and by the time I took myself to bed, just after 10 I felt almost normal again. Although I woke up feeling more alive on Wednesday, I was still struggling with my words. After an hour or so of typing and deleting words, I decided to do some housework and cook some lunch. I went and sat in the garden to do some overthinking and sure enough, the words came again! I think I have found myself a little trick. My mood has taken a slight dip over the last couple of days, which I have put down to alcohol. Despite telling myself on an almost weekly basis, that I will cut back, last week, I found myself with a glass of wine in my hand more times than I should have and then found myself wondering why I don't feel so great. I am determined to make those positive changes in my life and although my brain keeps telling me not to bother and that I will never do it, I am not giving up. I just need a little more focus and discipline, I have done this with my writing and my morning routine, so there is no reason I can't eventually go on to achieve this in other areas of my life.