This is still me ❤️

I always believed that I was the type of person, that if something wasn't going how I wanted it, I gave up. If the weight didn't come off after eating well for a few days, I would get bored, eat cake and say screw the diet. If I slept in when I was supposed to get up and exercise, I would decide to stay in bed and then barely move all day, thinking what is the point. Even sometimes in the past with writing, I would miss it for a day and then think "Oh I've blown it now" Whilst consistency is extremely important, it doesn't mean that we have to live our lives by ridiculously strict rules, in order to achieve our goals. For example, going back to dieting. If I put myself on a strict 1200-calorie-a-day diet for a month, I would lose weight, but I would be miserable and this is where I have gone wrong in the past. It's the same with exercising, I put myself under so much pressure with it, that any enjoyment I do get out of it is ruined because it is now

Starting and ending my days the right way. Wake up at 7am each day I’ve become a bit hypocritical. I’m always telling the husband he should keep a regular sleep routine but I have found myself being just as erratic with mine now. I like being up early, ideally 6am but I am going to start with 7am this week to get me back into the swing of things and get the day started properly. Put my screens away at 8pm Taking some downtime last week confirmed to me how important it is to spend time on things other than writing, so at 8pm each night, my laptop is being closed, my iPad is going on charge and my phone on do not disturb. I spend most of my days on social media platforms posting and engaging with others, so when 8pm comes around it’s my time to chill. Set up my LinkedIn profile This was on last weeks list, but life had other plans for me. I want to come back to this again this week, as it’s key to making progress with my writing career. I need to finish the SEO course (also on las

Finally, a week where I can stop and breathe. It's been a positive week and I feel with each new day, brings new things to learn. I sometimes feel like I have only just begun living my life as I am meant to, which is odd at the age of 41. Last week I started adding a "song of the day" to my social media pages, the intention behind these is to get everyone's day off on a positive note. I thought I would share these on my Friday posts for everyone to enjoy, by adding the link to the day of the week. On Friday I went out with a couple of friends for some Friday night drinks. We sat in a beer garden, drinking rose and chit-chatting about our lives. I had a picture taken, which I usually hate but for once I didn't. When I wondered why I noticed that I looked relaxed and not like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders, it felt good to realise that. There was a man at the pub that I was convinced was the actor who played Martin Fowler in Eastenders. I was t

An extract from this weeks Substack newsletter Quality over quantity When it comes to friendships, it’s not about having lots of people around us but having the right people around us. Always be respectful of other people’s boundaries We should all have boundaries in place, it’s an important part of self-care. Avoid toxic people Some people are drains and some people are radiators, we should go for the ones who provide the most warmth, rather than those who leave us feeling diminished. Not all relationships will last forever And that’s ok. It’s ok to disconnect from anyone who you do not enjoy spending time with. We are all human We all make mistakes at times, and we can hold our hands up to those things and learn from them. Subscribe to my free substack newsletter.❤️

It is not your job to make others happy. I had never heard of the term “setting boundaries” until I started therapy, I certainly didn’t know what it meant. Yet I have found it a key part of my healing process. Why hadn’t I heard about this sooner? I will admit, that I can sometimes find setting boundaries difficult. I am a people pleaser, I want to keep everyone happy, unfortunately, this can cost me my happiness. Your peace should be your priority. This isn’t always going to sit well with others, but if someone is ok with you putting their happiness first at the expense of your own, maybe it’s time to question that relationship. We also need to be respectful of the boundaries others put in place. We all want different things and we all have different priorities in life, so whilst we may not understand the thoughts and feelings of others, we should still be respectful of them. Since I started setting boundaries in my life, I have experienced a dramatic improvement in my overall

Another week, another mood…or two I feel like my moods are a bit of Russian roulette at the moment. When will the gun go off? Last Friday, after an anxious week of worrying about the fact my contract had been pushed back a week, I decided to walk to my counselling session. I am well versed by now in self-care, but I am not well versed in the art of patience. I know doing some gentle exercise will help my mindset, but during my walk, I didn’t feel ecstatically after 5 minutes, so I spent the first part of the walk feeling pretty miserable, wishing I had just driven instead. During my walk, the first glimmer of light came about 15 minutes in when I saw this little patch of wildflowers growing by the side of the road. I hadn’t noticed it whilst driving and just seeing that, made me feel a little bit happier. Just as I was about 5 minutes from my session, the joy of flowers now forgotten, I got a text from my friend, I had referred her for a role on the same contract as me and she had

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Even after the love has gone. Part of my anxiety means that I cannot be late. This is such a major dilemma in my relationship, as my boyfriend has no concept of time whatsoever, often leaving home at the time he’s supposed to be somewhere, I on the other hand like to be at least 10 minutes early, I allow for traffic etc. If I am late it sends me into a meltdown and it's caused so many arguments between us. My punctuality went in my favour on the day I went to see the solicitor as I couldn’t bloody find it. I walked up and down the high street about 3 times before noticing it nestled between Lloyd’s Bank and the Pound Shop. I pressed the buzzer, no answer. Barry pops up in my head! “What if they have mixed up my appointment?” “What if he’s off sick today?” Arrrrrrgh. Luckily before I could respond to Barry or talk to myself in the high street, two people arrived at the door with coffee. “Hi, I have an appointment with David Beckham at 9 am” bless the girl for not even flinchi

Mental health is so confusing There are going to be a lot of acronyms flying around in this post, so please try to bear with me. So I had booked my lunchtime appointment with the CBT therapist (cognitive behavioural therapist) I was nervous and wasn’t sure what to expect. I had only told my boyfriend and the friend who had told me about CBT, I didn’t want anyone to know, I was quite embarrassed, I wasn’t mentally stable! The session was in an old fashioned building, hidden down a little side street in the City of London, I had to climb about 100 stairs, I was out of breath by the time I got to the first floor and all hot and flustered. I sat in the waiting area, half of me eager to rid myself of the craziness, the other half wanting to run out of the door and hide from it all. Then my therapist came out, she was lovely and put me at ease straight away. I explained that I thought I had OCD and why I thought that, I explained my temperament, the constant worrying and she told me th