This is still me ❤️

Last night I made myself some overnight oats, which was actually a great trick as when I tried to have my usual argument with myself this morning about shall I exercise or stay in bed, I had to get up because I had to have my refuel meal. I decided to go up to level 3 on the Joe Wicks DVD, bloody hell, who thought that 5 seconds more could make such a difference? Feeling achey, but all pleased with myself. I got ready for work and enjoyed my oats I was in pretty happy mood for a Monday, work was pretty quiet so I thought I would go online and look for some outfits for my birthday dinner with the boyfriend on Friday. I'm not sure if this was the trigger, as I did find it quite depressing looking at all these slim women and all these lovely dresses and knowing that I was not going to be able to wear any of them but suddenly the black cloud arrived, I had managed to avoid it for the last few days but now it was well and truly here. By the time I finished work I was a really bad mood

So as you know, week three got off to a wobbly start, but I was determined not to be beaten. I woke up on Friday, feeling refreshed and ready to go, I cracked on with a HIIT session and rewarded myself with some yummy pancakes. They are seriously good, but soooo filling. I was on such a high after exercising I decided to try out the chicken satay for lunch, which was delicious and better than the one I had from the chinese takeaway the other week, but that was rubbish to be fair! Although the recipe contains a whole 120g bag of rocket and it wasnt even enough greens!! Friday lunch went the usual way, the angel & devil in my head fighting out whether to go out to lunch, then my friend popped over to my desk and without thinking I suggested wine. Oh well. I still managed to go home and cook after meeting the boyfriends parents in the pub where they had taken the kids for dinner, more red wine! I tried out a new recipe, cod with Spicy peas. It was bloody lovely, really tasty, definit

So things I learned from week 2 is mainly that I am incapable of giving up alcohol entirely, however, I have not let this get me down as this is supposed to be a lifestyle change and not a diet, I am also drinking a lot less than I was before I started this. Week 3. I knew was going to get off to a rocky start. The boyfriend and I (I still can't call him fiance, it makes me cringe) were going to a steak restaurant with his friend and his wife, they were big drinkers and there was no way I could sit there and watch everyone get drunk, I would have stabbed someone, I just don't find anything as funny as drunk people when I am sober. I was so exhausted in the morning from my evening work out that I allowed myself to have a rest day which also meant lime and avocado for breakfast (YAY!) I was good with my food all day and then met my boyfriend after work for a few pre drinks as the table wasnt booked until 8pm. I decided to drink red wine in the pub as that was what I would be dr

Its Friday, Hurrah! I have been so excited about my weekend this week as I have zero plans!! I am in such a good mood!! I got up and done a HIIT session and treated myself to some pancakes, today is going to be good. That didn't last long, I've been having issues with a friend of mine and I've been noticing over the years how one-sided our friendship is, I have been upset before but I am kind of over it now as it is what it is, however, now I am no longer showing an interest in the friendship, I am finding her to be quite manipulative and she has even gone as far as saying that I havent seen her daughter for ages and she wants to see me, basically trying to guilt trip me. I am fuming, I was so angry about this, I needed to let off some steam, so I ended up enjoying a couple of glasses of red wine at lunch with friends and furiously texting my other friend/unofficial life coach. I stuck to my lunch plans but sadly ended up meeting my boyfriend for a few drinks after work a

So week 1 is done, I could have done better but I could have eaten and exercised normally and been a lot worse. I am still really enjoying it, which is weird, I feel like I would usually give up by now but I am excited. I have picked up a few things on the way too, so for anyone thinking of trying this, here's how to make it a little easier on yourself. Plan your week in advance -  It's difficult to plan too far in advance as things come up but planning the following week should be easy, this way you know what to shop for, plan ahead for any nights out and when you're best to exercise. Order your shopping online - I've always been a bit weary of this, fearing ridiculous substitutes etc but its brilliant, I have been using Sainsburys now for 2 months and do not have one complaint, the last thing I want to do is be traipsing around a shop when I am not at work. Batch cook - I kept reading people banging on about this and whilst I do enjoy cooking my dinners, lunch meals

Surprisingly, I am still on the plan. Usually, after the weekend I would have given in. Dont get me wrong, I wobbled but I was the best I have been in a very long time. Friday Yay! Its Friday. I got up and completed a HIIT session, go me! I rewarded myself with some bloody delicious pancakes, they would definitely be enough to make me exercise!! I was supposed to have a salad for lunch which I hadn't tried but after yesterdays debacle, I decided to have Lime & Avocado smoothie instead, which surprisingly kept me full! Plus it was easier to make, this is definitely my saviour non carb meal for when I am in a rush. For dinner I made a Beef & Sausage casserole which I really enjoyed, it felt like a proper dinner, the boyfriend wasnt so sure, especially when he found out they were turkey sausages!! Although the food was really nice, I was in a god awful mood over the last couple of days snappy and moody, kept apologising to my boyfriend, who was luckily understanding. Saturday

I finally did it, I joined the Body Coach's 90 day SSS Plan, which I have been banging on about for ages. Heres how I started. I made the payment on the Monday and received a questionnaire to complete about my lifestyle etc. Oh shit, it was asking what I had eaten in the last 7 days. Knowing I was starting the plan, I had (another) final binge! I had literally eaten and drank like someone who had come back from a desert island. Three takeaways, chocolate & LOTS of wine, I really wanted to add at the bottom "please don't judge me, I was final bingeing!!" I answered honestly and I also had to include photos of my front, side & back, I do not wish that viewing on anyone!! Once that was done I was told I would receive my plan within 3-5 working days. After 2 days of checking my emails like a psycho, it came through on the Thursday, I was so excited!! I went home that night and planned my meals for the following week, went onto Sainsburys and ordered my food, rea