This is still me ❤️

Recently I have been feeling what can only be described as "all over the place." I didn't know what I was doing, where I belonged and just felt completely lost. I've had this before and just muddled through, but this was different, I really needed to do something about it, I just didnt know what. A friend of mine is a holistic therapist (as well as a Reiki teacher and psychic medium) and I remembered her talking about completing a diploma in the laws of attraction, so I dropped her a desperate whatsapp asking when she was starting this new therapy, she replied saying that she was actually at the class at that very moment and would message me the details. When she did later that day I immediately asked to book in, I was desperate to take some action. I left my job last Thursday all ready to join my new place this week, but this did not help, I didn't know what to do with myself and found myself in a huge anxious mess on Monday, I was so glad that I had my session b

One thing I have always loved is reading. I had hypnotherapy last year and one of the questions the hypnotherapist asked in the initial session was do I hear, see or smell, I definitely see. When I am reading a book I am so immersed, I know exactly what that person looks like, for me it like watching a film, it's the same when I dream its like watching TV. As I have mentioned before, my ambition is to write books, not just one, but many. I want to give to others what so many authors have given to me. I am writing this blog post to share my favourite books and givers of book hangovers. In no particular order: Kane & Abel - Jeffrey Archer. I must have read this book at least 10 times and it never gets boring, I won't go into detail on any of these books as I don't want to ruin it but this really is one of the greatest stories I have ever read. Dead Simple - Peter James. A friend of mine got me into this series and I am totally hooked. I love how each book has a few indi

As you have probably gathered from my previous posts, I am now doing Slimming World. I won't refer to it as a diet, as in actual fact, I'm not being deprived of any food (or alcohol - and I think we can all agree I like a drink or 10) For those of you not familiar with Slimming World, here is the basic concept. All lean meat, most fish & seafood, fruit & vegetables are what is known as free food, you can have as much of this as you like, this also includes potatoes, pasta & eggs. Yes you read that correctly, as my Mum often said when she was giving me her slimming world sales pitch "you can eat a whole bag of potatoes if you like" but it's true (although I'm yet to try it) then you have what is known as healthy extras one list is made up of certain dairy products (milk & cheese) and the other is fibre (bread, crackers, cereals) you are to have one from each list per day. Then all other food is given a "syn" value for example a large g

Today marks a year since I wrote my first blog here. Yay! A lot has happened since then, diet & exercise regimes have come and gone along with a couple of "friends" but the most notable thing is my mental health. This time last year I was on anti depressants wondering if I would ever be able to come off them, then I did and spent quite a bit of time thinking should I go back on them and finally, now I feel in a good place. I feel the most positive and happy me since god knows when. I am managing to stick to my resolutions and goals and am slowly learning how to actually look after myself without feeling selfish and its bloody great. I am starting to feel like I am getting my act together, I have a nice little routine in place at the beginning of each week I make a meal plan and order my shopping in, I put a plan to exercise in for a few mornings per week, although I don't stress about this too much as I do walk for 3 miles as part of my commute to work. I've set u

Happy New Year everyone! I have to say, at the risk of sounding like a complete killjoy, I am glad it's all over. I am not going to write about the things I thought I was going to write about, such as how I have gone from being Mrs Christmas to Scrooge, or how I keep having very bizarre, vivid dreams. Nope, I am going to wipe the slate clean and look forward, instead of back. So I admit it, I am one of those New Year, New Me people this year. I have set my goals for the year so I thought I would share them with you. Lose weight Oh yes, everybodys favourite! Since meeting my boyfriend I have put on over 2 stone and it really gets to me. This year however, I have a huge incentive. I'm getting married!! Although I have ordered my dress and it looks lovely as I am now, I am not happy with the way I am. I don't want to go out as much anymore as I never feel nice in my clothes and I hate shopping as it is, but the awful feeling of trying stuff on and it's too tight or just lo

I haven't been on here for a while, a combination of wedding stuff, work and being generally fed up. I recently had a conversation with my boyfriend about depression and the only way I could describe it is like this. There is this hole, it's always there, most days I'm sitting on the edge of the hole with my legs dangled in, the whole point of every single day is to not fall into it and it's not as easy and you would think. Some days I am in the hole with my arms trying to hold myself up, these days are quite exhausting and I have to fight so hard not to fall, I get into a panic because I really don't want to be in the hole. Other days I am dancing around the hole and some days I can barely see it, but its always there. Then, there is the inevitable day when my arms give up and I fall in, these are the worst days, there is no ladder in the hole, I know I will eventually get out but my mind is so clouded in panic or sadness that it seems impossible, nothing is goo

I've noticed something about my anxiety, which in turn brings Barry back. It seems to return when I have a lot going on or stress happening in my life. Thinking about it now, it's hardly a revelation, but previously I'd been so caught up in my thoughts that I hadn't realised, I had thought my anxiety was permanent, now I realise I can control it (yay) Take this week for example, I am currently an agony aunt to about 3 different people, which I love as I love being there for my friends. My boyfriends ex is being a total pain and using the children as weapons again, one of his close family members is going through a break up and one of his friends has some mental health issues, we're going away for the weekend with the kids which is always quite stressful trying to get packed etc as we always end up arguing and to top it all off I am struggling to stay on plan. I woke up the early hours on Wednesday morning to thunder & lightening and then couldn't get back t