This is still me ❤️

I always believed that I was the type of person, that if something wasn't going how I wanted it, I gave up. If the weight didn't come off after eating well for a few days, I would get bored, eat cake and say screw the diet. If I slept in when I was supposed to get up and exercise, I would decide to stay in bed and then barely move all day, thinking what is the point. Even sometimes in the past with writing, I would miss it for a day and then think "Oh I've blown it now" Whilst consistency is extremely important, it doesn't mean that we have to live our lives by ridiculously strict rules, in order to achieve our goals. For example, going back to dieting. If I put myself on a strict 1200-calorie-a-day diet for a month, I would lose weight, but I would be miserable and this is where I have gone wrong in the past. It's the same with exercising, I put myself under so much pressure with it, that any enjoyment I do get out of it is ruined because it is now

Why haven't I learned my lesson? Last Friday morning, whilst scrolling through my phone, I was thinking about what a crappy year a lot of people were having. 2022 seemed to have brought some terrible luck for some. I then began to reflect on my 2022 and realised that a lot of pretty shit stuff happened in my life too. Why wasn't I feeling miserable? I thought more about this. There have been some extremely low times this year, but my ability to bounce back from these has reached a strength I never thought possible for me. I am not trying to make out that I am some serene, zen, being; I still have my moments, but even how I view those are different. When bad times come, I still get upset, I show my emotions, I shout, I scream, I cry for as long as I need to, but somehow, deep down, I am safe in the knowledge that things will get better and knowing that is like my lifeboat, something for me to swim towards when I am drowning in those choppy waters. On Saturday, the husband

As always, I hope that someone may take comfort in these posts and realise that they are not alone. I originally started writing blog posts on WordPress back in 2017. I have finally imported everything over to Medium, which took a while! I am now in the process of reviewing the older posts and rewriting them, my writing has improved rather a lot since then! I’m still keeping all the original versions on WordPress for nostalgic reasons but I wanted to reshare some of those posts, This week, I want to share some posts about mental health and the start of my journey with anxiety. How I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder. How My Anxious Mind Affects My Self Esteem Want To Increase The Worrying In Your Mind? Get Divorced What Happens When Getting The Wrong Help Causes You More Worry

Mind, body & soul I’ve been so focused on my writing lately, that I have neglected some other areas of my life, so I’ve decided that I would try and do 1 thing each for my mind, body and soul. Put my phone away In last week's blog post I mentioned an advert I saw at the cinema about putting our phones away and enjoying what we are watching. I am incredibly guilty of this, even as I sit and type this now, I have a program on in the background that I have recorded. This week, I am going to put my phone on Do Not Disturb each day and put my phone, IPad & laptop in the kitchen whilst I watch a program. Sounds easy, but even in the cinema, I had to resist the urge to get my phone out of my bag. It's a very bad habit and I want to undo it. Get my steps up Although I am thoroughly enjoying the amount of time I have available to spend writing, the downside is that I am spending less time walking around. This week, I aim to try and increase my daily steps by 1000. I w

No one's perfect right? I posted this in my newsletter recently but I thought I would elaborate more, and provide the links to each book. If I had gone through a little bump in the road a year or so ago, I don't think I would be sat typing this article, I would most likely be in bed eating Chinese takeaway, followed by ice cream, buying untold shit online on my credit card, accumulating more debt. Whilst I give most of the credit to my amazing therapist, I have done some learning myself by reading (and listening to) various self-improvement books along the way. Here are some of my favourites: Not a diet book - James Smith Ahh, James Smith! I started following him on Instagram a fair few years ago and I have listed him at the top as he recommended quite a few of the books on this list. You may have seen him on TV with his no-nonsense approach to the diet industry. In this book, there is straight-talking advice on how to get fit physically and mentally. Having been on the die

This week, I want to focus on my physical health. I've been feeling sluggish and don't seem to have much energy lately. I'm going to try out some different exercises this week, I want to find something I enjoy, there must be something surely?! Drinking water is back on the list. Again! I've noticed my skin has been feeling a bit dry too so I need to try and get to grips with this water drinking malarkey if anyone has any tips on how to get more water on board, let me know. I also want to add more fruit and veg into my diet. My diet has improved, I've not been having many takeaways and have been cooking lots of healthy food, I just need to make sure that veg takes up a lot of my plate and maybe have some fruit for breakfast. What are your intentions for the coming week?

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Another week, another mood…or two I feel like my moods are a bit of Russian roulette at the moment. When will the gun go off? Last Friday, after an anxious week of worrying about the fact my contract had been pushed back a week, I decided to walk to my counselling session. I am well versed by now in self-care, but I am not well versed in the art of patience. I know doing some gentle exercise will help my mindset, but during my walk, I didn’t feel ecstatically after 5 minutes, so I spent the first part of the walk feeling pretty miserable, wishing I had just driven instead. During my walk, the first glimmer of light came about 15 minutes in when I saw this little patch of wildflowers growing by the side of the road. I hadn’t noticed it whilst driving and just seeing that, made me feel a little bit happier. Just as I was about 5 minutes from my session, the joy of flowers now forgotten, I got a text from my friend, I had referred her for a role on the same contract as me and she had

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As of yet no miracle has been invented to prevent me ageing so I am finally going to have to accept that I actually have to start looking after my body. I want and need to get myself back in shape. I’d like to have more energy and just generally feel less sluggish. I’ve read in many articles that strength training is better for women in their 40’s, so I am going to include some of this in my weekly routine. I also want to try and get a hold of my water intake, my skin is clearly feeling the effects of my lack of water so I just need to make more of an effort to not only incorporate this into my daily habits but stick to it. I have a really busy week this week and after (another) weekend away, I need to not only plan, but schedule my blog posts and newsletter. I’ve got myself into a really good rhythm with this and things are going well so I don‘t want to let things slide. I only plan to move forward from now on.

Even after the love has gone. Part of my anxiety means that I cannot be late. This is such a major dilemma in my relationship, as my boyfriend has no concept of time whatsoever, often leaving home at the time he’s supposed to be somewhere, I on the other hand like to be at least 10 minutes early, I allow for traffic etc. If I am late it sends me into a meltdown and it's caused so many arguments between us. My punctuality went in my favour on the day I went to see the solicitor as I couldn’t bloody find it. I walked up and down the high street about 3 times before noticing it nestled between Lloyd’s Bank and the Pound Shop. I pressed the buzzer, no answer. Barry pops up in my head! “What if they have mixed up my appointment?” “What if he’s off sick today?” Arrrrrrgh. Luckily before I could respond to Barry or talk to myself in the high street, two people arrived at the door with coffee. “Hi, I have an appointment with David Beckham at 9 am” bless the girl for not even flinchi

Mental health is so confusing There are going to be a lot of acronyms flying around in this post, so please try to bear with me. So I had booked my lunchtime appointment with the CBT therapist (cognitive behavioural therapist) I was nervous and wasn’t sure what to expect. I had only told my boyfriend and the friend who had told me about CBT, I didn’t want anyone to know, I was quite embarrassed, I wasn’t mentally stable! The session was in an old fashioned building, hidden down a little side street in the City of London, I had to climb about 100 stairs, I was out of breath by the time I got to the first floor and all hot and flustered. I sat in the waiting area, half of me eager to rid myself of the craziness, the other half wanting to run out of the door and hide from it all. Then my therapist came out, she was lovely and put me at ease straight away. I explained that I thought I had OCD and why I thought that, I explained my temperament, the constant worrying and she told me th