Opening Pandoras Box

Will it be as bad as I think? Today, the husband and I celebrate our 4th Wedding Anniversary & things finally feel like they are settling back down again, after a hectic few weeks. Last Friday, I was sent into a bit of a panic. Toby was a bit sick in the morning, not usually a cause for concern as I have read that cats can be sick if they eat too quickly, but he seemed fine. A couple of hours later, he was sick again and by midday, he was barely lifting his head and was completely listless. I was quite worried now as there are lots of things that are toxic to cats and I didn't know if he had eaten anything he shouldn't have during the night. I decided to call the vet, who asked me to bring him in straight away. Toby got into his carrier without a struggle, which is unusual and he didn't make a sound on the journey, which is also unusual. He usually likes to loudly complain. The vet sees us straight away and he just sits there whilst she examines him, still quiet as a mouse, even when she takes his temperature (and you know how they take that!) The vet said he has a bug and she would give him an injection. I asked if she could do anything about a bit of matted fur he had around his tail so she got out the clippers and started shaving out the matted fur. Toby, had had enough by this point and started loudly complaining and then hissing, up until now he had only ever hissed at the hoover. He didn't scratch or bite though and once she gave him a quick injection for the sickness, we were off back home, where Toby quickly returned to his normal self. The weekend was pretty chilled, I cooked, I cleaned, I spent some time in the garden and wrote my newsletter, but after a rather deep counselling session on Friday, I was feeling pretty anxious. Towards the end of my session, I had raised something from my past that I had buried long ago, but I felt like this was the final thing weighing me down. Did I want to open pandora's box? My throat felt tight like someone had a grip on my windpipe. This was still hanging over me on Monday, I felt generally sad. I had a massage booked in the afternoon, and I found that despite all the relaxation, my head was swimming. I decided that I would change up my morning routine slightly and spend the first 10 minutes each morning, with a cup of tea and have 10 minutes of silence, to allow my brain to unscramble itself. I tried this on Tuesday morning and I had a much clearer head and set off to London to meet my friend for lunch. I read a post on social media about the working from home divide. I don't understand what the big deal is. If people can do their job from home and want to, then why not? If people want to go into the office and do their job then that's fine too. People who want to work from home aren't lazy (as one person said) I got twice as much done working from home, it makes no difference to me if someone else wants to work from home or not, they're an adult and it's their choice. I have been waking up early lately, between 5 am & 6 am but on Wednesday, I woke up at 4 am! I came downstairs and had my tea and sat to disentangle my brain, which led to a little cry. I felt like a zombie. I drove over to my friends as we had arranged a lunchtime trip to B&M and she too had a rubbish sleep, we somehow managed to navigate the shop, before going back to hers and having lunch. I managed to liven myself up in time to have dinner with the bestie, where I finally take the lid of pandora's box. I am surprised to realise I don't feel the pain I was expecting to feel and finally, the grip on my windpipe loosens. I feel very fortunate to have her as my friend and that no matter what happens, we always have each other. Yesterday, I manage a lie in and get up at 6:30. I have a slight hangover and decide to finally sit down and watch "This is going to hurt" which is brilliant! The husband, who is also nursing a hangover gets up and we decide to order Mcdonald's for lunch. The guilt of all the unhealthy food I've eaten leads me to walk to my counselling session, which goes better than I thought after getting a lot off my chest the night before. I come home feeling so much lighter and ready to celebrate our anniversary.