This is still me ❤️

As always, I hope that someone may take comfort in these posts and realise that they are not alone. I originally started writing blog posts on WordPress back in 2017. I have finally imported everything over to Medium, which took a while! I am now in the process of reviewing the older posts and rewriting them, my writing has improved rather a lot since then! I’m still keeping all the original versions on WordPress for nostalgic reasons but I wanted to reshare some of those posts, This week, I want to share some posts about mental health and the start of my journey with anxiety. How I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder. How My Anxious Mind Affects My Self Esteem Want To Increase The Worrying In Your Mind? Get Divorced What Happens When Getting The Wrong Help Causes You More Worry

Its a small step, for a big reward I had other plans for today’s post. I sat down this morning to read another chapter of The Power of Focus, I read something I just had to share. “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fears, our own presence automatically liberates others.” This is from Return to Love by Marianne Williams as quoted by Nelson Mand

And some of the many questions I still have. Like many people, I find true crime intriguing. I watch documentaries, I listen to podcasts and I read about it. So I thought to myself, why not write about it too? I particularly find the unsolved cases interesting, so I thought that would be the best place to start. I first learned of the Somerton Man after listening to an episode of Casefile podcast . What happened? On December 1st 1948, the body of a man was discovered on Somerton Park Beach in Australia. He had no identification in his pockets, no wallet or money, there was an unused train ticket from Adelaide to Henley Beach, a bus ticket stub from Adelaide to Somerton Beach and a packet of cigarettes, however, the cigarettes inside differed from the brand of the packet 18 of his teeth were missing and all the labels had been cut from his clothes. A trouser pocket had been restitched, using tan thread, which was later found to be made in the UK. Cause of death It is thought

Dream. Plan. Do. I have a lot to think about this week. For those of you that have read my posts this week, you will know that the job I was offered a couple of months ago, has not materialised, for those of you that haven't you can read here . In all honesty, I have avoided thinking about it too much. I know I need to, but I needed to get over any feelings I have about it first so that I can sit down with a clear head and think things through. It makes sense that at least some of my intentions should be around this. Review my outgoings This week, not only am I going to sit down and go through my budget daily, I am going to review my outgoings for the next couple of months and cancel some things that are not essential, namely my subscription boxes (sob) Hopefully, it won't be for long, but I would rather be prepared than stressed out about how I am going to pay for things when I am still getting a monthly box of beauty goodies I don't really need. Read For the l

An extract from this weeks Substack newsletter Quality over quantity When it comes to friendships, it’s not about having lots of people around us but having the right people around us. Always be respectful of other people’s boundaries We should all have boundaries in place, it’s an important part of self-care. Avoid toxic people Some people are drains and some people are radiators, we should go for the ones who provide the most warmth, rather than those who leave us feeling diminished. Not all relationships will last forever And that’s ok. It’s ok to disconnect from anyone who you do not enjoy spending time with. We are all human We all make mistakes at times, and we can hold our hands up to those things and learn from them. Subscribe to my free substack newsletter.❤️

What went weSometimes the little things in life are the most important. It's been another tumultuous week, I don't know how I am feeling half the time and it's so confusing. Once again, stopping and reflecting on my week helps me to see the good things in my life. Spending time with my parents. Sometimes, when things aren't going as you expect them to, spending time with your parents can take the pain out of things. Knowing they will always be there and have my back can sometimes be all the comfort I need. Relaxing Massage I meditated before going to my massage, getting all of my woes and worries out of my head, leaving me to just enjoy an hour of escape. As much as we need to think things through, we also need times when we can just forget our troubles and relax. Taking small steps toward my goals The one thing I do have is my writing and I have been relentless this week in taking small steps each day to make some progress. I have taken myself completely out of my

Making sense of my own head. This week has been challenging, eye-opening, disappointing, surprising and much more in between. After my emotional rollercoaster the week before, I took some time out to chill at the weekend. I had my friend Rachel over for lunch and I saw my parents on fathers day. On Monday, I finally felt like I had resolved an old issue. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted and I could finally move forward. The job front, however, was still lingering. I received an email from the agency asking about equipment, so I responded to that and then sent an email to the agent asking for an update on my start date. It had now been over two weeks since she last updated me and it was almost a month since I was supposed to originally start the job. On Tuesday, I had a doctor's appointment and then went out shopping with the mother, I was in a great mood and then I finally received a response from the agent. If you read Wednesday's post , you will know that

In search of the supernatural I am a massive fan of horror films, I'm not sure what it is about being scared that I enjoy. I do prefer a good old-fashioned ghost story to a slasher movie, blood and gore do nothing for me, except put me off my food. I find the supernatural intriguing and I am in awe of people that come up with these amazing stories. Insidious There are 4 Insidious films and a quick peek on IMDB tells me there is a 5th in pre-production, which excites me! The first film starts a lot like many horror films, with a family moving into a new home. Their son has an accident in the attic and falls into a coma. His lack of response sends them desperately searching for answers, leading them to Elise Rainier, a psychic who helps them enter the mysterious realm of The Further, to save their son. Insidious has an original storyline, a great cast, is very jumpy and most importantly, scary. I often go back and re-watch the Insidious films. Oculus I've found that no

that completely changed my mindset I had an entire list of ideas on what to write for the Wednesday Wisdom post, but fate had other things in store. 6 weeks ago, I resigned from a full-time job, after being offered a 6-month contracting position. I wrote about this in a post I had published in the Orange Journal, which you can read here I resigned just in the nick of time to make the start date for the new job. Since then, my start date was then moved 3 times, the first two times causing me to panic and burst into tears. I was contacted two weeks ago and told the date would be moving yet again and they would confirm by the end of the following week. After chasing twice, I received a call yesterday to tell me that the position is no longer available and I was sent two other job specs, which are for less money. I was pretty stunned. I didn’t know how to feel, as much as I want to pursue a career in writing, I planned to do that alongside a paid job until I can make enough money

Mind, body & soul I’ve been so focused on my writing lately, that I have neglected some other areas of my life, so I’ve decided that I would try and do 1 thing each for my mind, body and soul. Put my phone away In last week's blog post I mentioned an advert I saw at the cinema about putting our phones away and enjoying what we are watching. I am incredibly guilty of this, even as I sit and type this now, I have a program on in the background that I have recorded. This week, I am going to put my phone on Do Not Disturb each day and put my phone, IPad & laptop in the kitchen whilst I watch a program. Sounds easy, but even in the cinema, I had to resist the urge to get my phone out of my bag. It's a very bad habit and I want to undo it. Get my steps up Although I am thoroughly enjoying the amount of time I have available to spend writing, the downside is that I am spending less time walking around. This week, I aim to try and increase my daily steps by 1000. I w

The bigger picture I share what's been happening this week, my top 10 horror films, 20 things that make me happy and this brilliant post from @thirdeyethoughts Subscribe here

Gratitude is the attitude Yesterday, I posted about the emotional rollercoaster I’ve been on this week Despite the downs, I have managed to find plenty to be grateful for and here are my top 3. Sunday Cinema Date On Sunday, the husband and I took ourselves to the local cinema to watch Top Gun Maverick. I love going to the cinema, the husband, not so much. The weather was pleasant, so we decided to walk the 2 miles to the cinema. I don’t like to spoil things for others, so I won’t say too much about the film itself, other than that I loved it! Usually, the husband and I will go for dinner or drinks so it was a refreshing change to go to the cinema on a Sunday afternoon. Medium stats For those of you reading this that are Medium members, you will understand where I am coming from. Since joining at the end of April, I have checked my stats almost daily, along with my medium partnership program earnings, which in the first two months have not exceeded 38 cents. So I was pleased

Up, down and loop the loop. Last Friday, after keeping a few things to myself and letting them bubble under the surface, I got them off my chest. As usual, I felt so much better and wondered why I didn’t just let it all out in the first place. The problem I have is that I am much better with my words when they are written, I have time to go over them, think about what I have said and reword where necessary, this is why I don’t send voice notes, although I do like to receive them. I had been anxious about going out that evening, alcohol and anxiety do not mix. Thankfully, the air was now clear, and I could go out and enjoy my evening. The husband and I went out with some friends and danced the night away in a local Irish bar. On Saturday, I felt like a new woman, albeit a groggier new woman. I didn’t feel the need to eat all the food like I had the past few days and the husband and I enjoyed a chilled day indoors. I was woken up by Toby on Sunday morning, who decided he wanted to c

You can’t live a positive life with a negative mind. Today, I wasn’t feeling my best. Despite having good boundaries in place, the negative thoughts can still creep in. When this happens I have a list of go-to self-care activities and I thought I would share these with you. Meditation I always thought meditation was sitting crossed-legged on the floor and clearing your mind completely, which, quite frankly, feels impossible for me. I gave up trying to meditate for ages until it was explained to me that is not the case. The actual definition of meditation, according to Merriam-Webster, is: 1: to engage in contemplation or reflection. 2: to engage in mental exercise (such as concentration on one’s breathing or repetition of a mantra) for the purpose of reaching a heightened level of spiritual awareness Each morning, I make myself a cup of tea, set a timer for 10 minutes and sit in silence, letting my brain do what it wants to, which is usually worry, roll off my list of things

It is not your job to make others happy. I had never heard of the term “setting boundaries” until I started therapy, I certainly didn’t know what it meant. Yet I have found it a key part of my healing process. Why hadn’t I heard about this sooner? I will admit, that I can sometimes find setting boundaries difficult. I am a people pleaser, I want to keep everyone happy, unfortunately, this can cost me my happiness. Your peace should be your priority. This isn’t always going to sit well with others, but if someone is ok with you putting their happiness first at the expense of your own, maybe it’s time to question that relationship. We also need to be respectful of the boundaries others put in place. We all want different things and we all have different priorities in life, so whilst we may not understand the thoughts and feelings of others, we should still be respectful of them. Since I started setting boundaries in my life, I have experienced a dramatic improvement in my overall

My productivity has skyrocketed since setting clear, concise goals. After spending some time last week reviewing my current goals and setting some new ones, I'm feeling quite excited about the future. For the first time that I can remember, I am very clear about what I want in life and it feels pretty damn good. Sometimes when I set my weekly intentions, I struggle to think of some, which is where I will usually chuck in something vague like "drink 2 litres of water each day" and then inevitably, don't follow through with it. Now I have some crystal clear goals, it's so much easier and I could list several intentions I have for this week (don't worry, I won't) I'll just give you the usual three. Finish my article One of last week's intentions was to write an article, I started writing one but as I mentioned in last week's post , it was bringing back some pretty painful thoughts and feelings. I will go back to that article, but only whe

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There is always something to be grateful for I often find that when one area of life is going well, another area isn't going as well. Maybe sometimes when something is going my way, I look at other areas to improve, so that everything can be just how I want it. This is why I like doing my weekly posts on what has gone well so that when my brain is chewing over all that I perceive as negative, I can remind myself of all the positive things that have happened. This week, I will admit, that I struggled. I had to look in my 6-minute diary and look at my daily gratitude, just to give myself a little oomph as I was in a bit of a negative mindset. Needless to say, I felt a lot better afterwards. My creativity is through the roof. I have a list of over 30 ideas for posts and articles and it's growing daily. I love not having a 9-5 and working to my schedule, I am up earlier, get more done and in general, feel happier. I have the time and space to think clearly and it works well f

There’s no stopping me I am so thankful that I don't have a 9–5 job at the moment. I can’t say I’m not working, as writing has taken over my life and I love it. I am constantly brainstorming new content ideas and I spend most of my days, writing, planning what to write and researching. It’s my dream career. I was quite sad to have a busy weekend to take me away from it. We had a family bbq at my brothers on Thursday, my parents, my other brother and his family were staying at the same hotel as us, so we had a few drinks in the pub next door when we got back. One of the members of staff was so rude! Berating us because we hadn’t booked a table, despite only two tables being occupied. We weren’t expecting to be going and were just going in on the off chance if there hadn’t been tables available, we would have gone elsewhere. He continued to be rude and snippy to us throughout the evening and in the end, my dad told him about himself. He was fine after that. Incidentally, the

A personal time capsule Last week, I wrote a post about the importance of self reflection . I hadn’t realised how much self reflection I have been doing, it is now as much a part of my day as brushing my teeth. One important thing to remember when self reflecting, is that you must guve yourself time and space to do this, writing daily reflections mindlessly and never actually thinking about them again, serves no purpose. I was excited to see that my first weekly challenge in my 6 Minute Diary, was to write an email to my future self for 6 months time, describing where I see my life at that point in time. There were two websites given where I could use to do this. I decided to go with Future Me, which I had heard already heard of, I thought I may have even wrote a letter to myself in the past. The idea is, that you write a letter to your future self, it can say whatever you want it to, you can even get ideas from the website. You then decide when would like to receive the letter

“Build Small Habits, Make Big Plan” — James Clear This week I have been thinking a lot about my goals, so this week, I thought I would share some inspirational posts on this.

So much has changed since January and that includes my goals. I looked back at the goals I had originally set myself at the beginning of the year and half of them are no longer things I wish to achieve. I’ve been reading The Power Of Focus which has some great guidance on goal setting, so I am planning on working my way through that over the next week or so. I want to write some more articles so that I have some ready to submit to publications. I often have ideas pop into my head and I keep a note of them. I currently use Evernote for my blog posts, I just need to organise my folders a bit better as I have almost all of my blog posts in there! Lastly, but most importantly, I am going to block a day out in my diary each week where I make no plans. No lunches, no appointments, no dinners. Nothing. It’s a day just for me to do the things I need or want to do for myself. What are your intentions for this week? ❤️

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It’s been such a positive week for me, although mindset is everything. Some things happened this week that could have dampened my spirits, but because I was in a good frame of mind, I have managed to focus on the positives and put a positive spin on some of the possible negatives. I know that I may not feel like this every week will be like this, but I plan on enjoying it for as long as it lasts. What went well for you this week? ❤️

My hard work is starting to pay off I normally write these posts by going through my week and what’s been happening, but I am far too impatient to write a whole post before I can get to my exciting news. Some of you may have already seen, that I have had my first article published on Medium. For some, this may not be a big thing, but for me, it’s pretty huge. Back in 2017 when I started writing this blog, I was too afraid to share with anyone other than close friends. Who would want to read anything I wrote? I certainly would not have imagined even having the courage to think about submitting my writing to a publication. Writing has been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember, so I’m feeling pretty bloody good right now. It’s been a good week overall anyway. The husband and I celebrated our 4th Wedding Anniversary last Friday and we went to Stratford Upon Avon for the weekend. Stratford Upon Avon is beautiful and our hotel was right next to the river Avon. The sun was shin

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” — Aristotle I adore stationery. As a child, I used to spend hours in stationery shops longing to buy all the notepads and pens that adorned the shelves. As an adult, I do buy more stationery than I probably should and when I came across self-reflection journals, I became truly addicted. When I was tidying my house recently, I found some old journals and flicked through them. It’s so good to read through and see the thoughts and feelings I was having back then, it’s really interesting to see how much I have grown over the years. I complete my self-reflection journal each morning when I get up and each evening before I go to bed. I try my best to make sure each morning and evening is filled in, even if it’s a bit later than anticipated and I do take it away with me on holidays. After spending a lot of time scouring the internet, I chose the 6-minutediary for my next journal for the following reasons: It’s split into morning and eve

This week, I wanted to focus on relationships. I am always very aware of how lucky I am to have the family and friends I do. We learn so much from the people we spend time with and I am truly grateful for those that I am blessed to have in my life ❤️