This is still me ❤️

5 Things I've seen and heard this week. If you want a quick binge watch Watch Witness No 3 on Channel 5 - I had recorded this and then two friends messaged me to ask me if I had watched it, so I decided to make it a priority. No spoilers from me as usual, so I will just give an overview. Jodie, and two other individuals, witness a suspicious incident, which turns out to be a murder. Will she do the right thing? What is the right thing? If suspense is your thing, then this is for you. If you’re a fan of Tony Robbins Join the time to thrive challenge . I never knew who Tony Robbins was until my friend Zoe told me about him a few years ago. He does seminars that people pay thousands to attend and he is doing the Time To Thrive Challenge online for free. Despite being on holiday, I have signed up and I’m hopeful to watch as much as I can. If you want to know about the original internet troll. Watch The most hated man On The Internet on Netflix. I was shocked that I had never

An amazing weekend with friends Last weekend, we celebrated our good friend's birthday. On Saturday, a group of us went out for dinner, where there was delicious food, fantastic live singers and the best company, then on Sunday, we went to their house and celebrated some more, more food, more drinks, the live singers returned and I laughed so much. I honestly feel so grateful and honoured to have spent time with all of those people. Scheduling posts in advance Something I've been talking about doing for a while but going on holiday has made it more of a priority. 9 hours on a flight will also give me some time to write, although I do wonder how much of it will make sense after a few glasses of wine. A holiday We are taking the boys to Orlando in Florida. None of us have been before and we are all really looking forward to it. To be honest, I didn't think it was somewhere I would ever get to go so I am aware of how very lucky I am.

On the plus side, I've noticed that I have started looking forward to my nights out again. Before the pandemic, I went out a lot. Working in the city it was perfectly normal to go to the pub at lunch or after work, when the weekends came, I preferred being at home as I'd been out all week. Going out was such an everyday thing, it wasn't really fun anymore and when a big birthday event came along, I didn't look forward to It. Now, I tend to do my going out at the weekends like a normal person and I have started to look forward to those nights out again, I can think about what I'm going to wear and spend some time getting ready. On Saturday, I woke up at 7 am, excited for a morning to chill out. I sat down and looked at my calendar. 9 am - Intervals. Oh, bugger. I'm doing cardio today. My brain starts to make excuses but I ignore them. It's happening. I'm doing it. No excuses. And I did. Did I enjoy it? Absolutely not. I couldn't find my sports br

It's nice to know you're not alone. Yesterday, I wrote about finding my purpose , something I struggled with for many years, I was baffled by how I was supposed to do this. Charlene Walters, MBA, PhD hit the nail on the head for me in her article "What's your why?" they say. It's everywhere. I'm sure that you sometimes get tired of hearing it. The endless memes and motivational quotes" 5 Questions For Figuring Out Your Why (for just about anything) I was also crippled by a complete lack of Self-belief Gustavo Gallina shares his thoughts on letting go of things that hold us back "We put ourselves off from attempting new things, travelling to new locations, developing new habits, or meeting new people because we are afraid of failure and the unknown." If It's Holding You Back, Let It Go Susie Pinon also talks about letting go, "It isn't until you truly let go that everything falls into place." Clear the Clutte

What the hell is a "Purpose" anyway? Finding your "purpose" is something that I see a lot online. A few years ago, seeing this constantly come up in my social media feeds left me feeling worthless. I didn't have a purpose, I was a woman in my 30s and I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life, the constant reminder that I didn't have a "purpose" made me feel like a total and utter failure. I would find myself looking at others, wondering how the hell they found theirs, some were mothers, saying their purpose was to raise their children, some had their own business and then there was me, why didn't I have a purpose? A reason to exist? The problem I had, was that I had too much going on in my head. I had so many unresolved issues that I had been avoiding dealing with, that I had no capacity to think about what I wanted from life. I'm not even sure what a "purpose" is, but for me, it's something I look forward to get

I started writing this week's True Crime Post and got myself lost down a rabbit hole. There is so much information about the case, that I want to make sure I capture all the information and do it justice. So this week, I will share some of my favourite true crime podcasts with you all. If you love True Crime like me then these are the podcasts you absolutely must subscribe to. Going West Started in 2018 and presented by husband and wife, Heath & Daphne, who discuss different US-based disappearances, murders and unsolved cases each week. I love the way Heath & Daphne bounce off each other and The episodes flow really well. Episodes are usually between 40 & 50 minutes long and are released every Tuesday & Friday and are available on all platforms. Case File True Crime This was the first true crime podcast I ever listened to and it's still one of my favourites. It started in 2016. The host is anonymous, which I quite enjoy. The show has solved and unsolved cas

Planning is the key Write Back Up Content I am planning on doing some writing whilst I’m away. We have a 9-hour plane journey and there will be days lazing by the pool where I know I will think of something, but I want to have some pre-written content so that I don't feel under pressure to be writing whilst on holiday. I love writing and I don't want to make it feel like a chore. Daily Meditation I've been letting this slide lately and I've noticed that my brain has started to feel full of too many thoughts again. I want to get myself back into the habit of meditating, I just need to figure out which time of day works best for me. Finish The Power Of Focus I've been reading this for 15 minutes each day and it's very motivating. If you are self-employed, looking to start your own business or just want a bit of motivation, I would definitely recommend this book. Once I've finished this, I can then start my next book "The Last Law of Attraction Book

Sunday 24th July It's my precious Toby's 3rd birthday today. This morning will be for snuggles and fussing and then this afternoon we’re off to our friends to celebrate his birthday (again!) Well, I certainly wasn't able to watch as much TV as I did last week, unless you count Love Island, obvs. I think Ekin Su & Davide will win, btw. I did do a LOT of reading though, I sign up to a lot of email lists, and there's usually always something interesting in them somewhere. Anything I don't have time to read there and then, I add to my reading list in Google Chrome and make some time one evening or at the weekend to go through it, its become one of my favourite evening wind-down activities For those of you with children - here's something that may cure some of that summer holiday boredom that I saw in an email from Littlebird a website for ideas and savings for families. They are offering a 4 week free trial for FirstNews which is a weekly newspaper for ch

Holiday Clothes I always have problems finding clothes I like, I used to be able to buy any old thing, safe in the knowledge. After too many years of enjoying myself, that privilege has been taken away and now I have to psyche myself up to try on clothes and there are almost always outfit tantrums . I made the mistake of having my first trying-on session in the evening after dinner when I was feeling ill. In the end, I was a sweaty mess, half from fever, half from the heatwave and I hated all of the outfits. I decided to try them again when I was feeling better, so on Thursday morning, I decided to do just that. I ended up keeping half of the things I had ordered, much to the husband's dismay. Yoga This has been on my list of weekly intentions on and off all year and I finally did it on Thursday! I did a beginner session, where I learned the importance of breathing and how to do this as well as some of the basic moves. I've tried beginner yoga a few times and this was b

Last Friday, I woke up feeling full of cold. Great, just in time for the weekend, but I was determined not to let it get the better of me. I’ve been taking a long hard look at my to-do list and chopped it up a bit. I want to give myself the option to take weekends off from writing and learning and avoid putting too much pressure on myself. I was really looking forward to going out for dinner with our friend's birthday, to celebrate a birthday and there was no way I was going to let having too much to do or a poxy cold, get in the way. On Saturday, Toby, who I think is having an identity crisis and thinks he’s a cockerel, wakes us up yowling at the crack of dawn. There was no way I was getting up early, the cold combined with too much white wine the night, was not leaving me feeling energised. We had a wedding reception to go to that evening. Again, despite my feeling rubbish, I still wanted to go. It's just a cold, I told myself and went off to sit in the garden to get som

I always believed that I was the type of person, that if something wasn't going how I wanted it, I gave up. If the weight didn't come off after eating well for a few days, I would get bored, eat cake and say screw the diet. If I slept in when I was supposed to get up and exercise, I would decide to stay in bed and then barely move all day, thinking what is the point. Even sometimes in the past with writing, I would miss it for a day and then think "Oh I've blown it now" Whilst consistency is extremely important, it doesn't mean that we have to live our lives by ridiculously strict rules, in order to achieve our goals. For example, going back to dieting. If I put myself on a strict 1200-calorie-a-day diet for a month, I would lose weight, but I would be miserable and this is where I have gone wrong in the past. It's the same with exercising, I put myself under so much pressure with it, that any enjoyment I do get out of it is ruined because it is now

I first heard about this case on the Going West podcast Who is Rachel Cooke Rachel Cooke, a 19 Year Old from Georgetown Texas, attended Mesa Junior College in San Diego, California. In December 2001, she went home to Georgetown with her boyfriend Greg to visit her family for the holidays. What Happened After the holidays, Greg returned to San Diego and Rachel stayed to attend a family wedding. On the morning of 10th January 2002, Rachel’s sister went off to school, her parents went to work and Rachel prepared to go for a run, a 6 mile route she had run regularly for many years. Before her run, she spoke to Greg and said she would call him when she got back. Later that day, Rachel's father returned home early from work as they had planned to go shopping, so he was confused to find that Rachel was not at home, although her belongings, including her mobile phone and purse, were still there. He decided she must be at work, as she was going to do some shifts at a local restaurant wh

Starting and ending my days the right way. Wake up at 7am each day I’ve become a bit hypocritical. I’m always telling the husband he should keep a regular sleep routine but I have found myself being just as erratic with mine now. I like being up early, ideally 6am but I am going to start with 7am this week to get me back into the swing of things and get the day started properly. Put my screens away at 8pm Taking some downtime last week confirmed to me how important it is to spend time on things other than writing, so at 8pm each night, my laptop is being closed, my iPad is going on charge and my phone on do not disturb. I spend most of my days on social media platforms posting and engaging with others, so when 8pm comes around it’s my time to chill. Set up my LinkedIn profile This was on last weeks list, but life had other plans for me. I want to come back to this again this week, as it’s key to making progress with my writing career. I need to finish the SEO course (also on las

TV shows, A podcast and some music Feeling a bit poorly has forced me to camp out in bed or on the sofa in front of the TV, something I haven’t done in a while. I did watch some great things on TV though, so I’ll share those with you. The Shrink Next Door This is on Apple TV, if you have Sky or EE, it’s worth checking as you can get free subscriptions for Apple TV for 3-6 months, there is some great stuff on there. The Shrink Next Door is based on true events. Marty, played by Will Ferrell, has recently lost his parents and his sister Phyllis, played by the brilliant Kathryn Hahn, encourages him to see a therapist. Marty reluctantly makes a visit to Dr. Ike, played by Paul Rudd and they slowly form a friendship that sees Dr. Ike taking advantage of the kind and lonely Marty. Our Father Another mind-blowing crime documentary from Netflix. Don’t be confused by the title, this has nothing to do with religion, but what happens when a woman, whose father was a sperm donor, submits

I wasn’t going to write today, but I have just finished watching a series and have been telling all my friends about it and I thought it would be selfish not to share it with everyone here too. The program is called Big Boys. It’s written by Jack Rooke, who is the main character, played by the brilliant Dylan Llewellyn, who you may recognise from Derry Girls. Jack has just lost his dad and deferred his first year at uni. When he starts he meets Danny, who he shares “accommodation” with. The Jack and Danny joke went through my head immediately, don’t worry, it’s explained. Jack, who is yet to come out as gay, forms a wonderful friendship with Danny, who has some serious struggles of his own. I loved the focus being on the straight best friend instead of the gay best friend, it’s something we rarely see. Jon Pointing plays Danny beautifully and whilst I loved Jacks story, it was Danny that had be sobbing one minute and then snorting with laughter the next. Every single cast member

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough” A weekend in Broadstairs with the husband We enjoyed an impromptu weekend at the seaside, wandering the food market and the high street, popping in and out of pubs and listening to live music, all in the glorious sunshine. Lunch in London A friend took me for lunch in London. We had an afternoon of gossip and managed to find a very well air conditioned bar to have a quick glass of wine before we went home. Some downtime Although I was kind of forced into it, as I wasn’t really feeling well. Have a day of mostly watching Netflix and generally chilling out made me realise that I don’t have to try and get it all done ASAP and some time out isn’t a bad thing. What are you grateful for this week? ❤️

Why haven't I learned my lesson? Last Friday morning, whilst scrolling through my phone, I was thinking about what a crappy year a lot of people were having. 2022 seemed to have brought some terrible luck for some. I then began to reflect on my 2022 and realised that a lot of pretty shit stuff happened in my life too. Why wasn't I feeling miserable? I thought more about this. There have been some extremely low times this year, but my ability to bounce back from these has reached a strength I never thought possible for me. I am not trying to make out that I am some serene, zen, being; I still have my moments, but even how I view those are different. When bad times come, I still get upset, I show my emotions, I shout, I scream, I cry for as long as I need to, but somehow, deep down, I am safe in the knowledge that things will get better and knowing that is like my lifeboat, something for me to swim towards when I am drowning in those choppy waters. On Saturday, the husband

Over the last few weeks, I've been spending about 90% of my waking moments working towards my goal of writing for a living. I wake up and am straight online posting on platforms that I am unable to schedule posts on (or haven't learned how to yet) I could wait until later in the day, but I find that a lot of people read posts first thing, myself included. I meditate, do my self-reflection and review my to-do list for the day, apart from writing, I read other people's articles and engage with other writers on the platforms as practically all the articles and books I've read say this is a huge factor in being a successful writer, it's something I've found surprisingly fun. On top of this, I'm trying (and failing) to keep a clean and tidy home, cook dinners, see friends and family, and generally have a life. I'm not complaining, I bloody love it. I finally feel like I have a purpose. However, me being me, I have given myself a rather large to-do list, t

I heard about this case on the Trace Evidence podcast and it is so baffling that someone can just apparently vanish without a trace. Who is Brandon Swanson Brandon Swanson was a 19-year-old from Marshall, Minnesota who lived at home with his parents and sister, they were a close family. He was an avid reader, with a keen interest in science. He was also blind in his left eye. The disappearance On 13th May 2008, Brandon was coming to the end of his first year in college and made plans to celebrate with friends. He attended a small gathering at a house, where it is said that there was alcohol, however, Brandon did not appear to be drunk Around 10:30 pm, he left the gathering to drive to Canby, which is 30 miles away from Marshall, to visit a friend from school to say goodbye. It was said that there was a party at the house he went to and that he was seen to have a shot of whisky, but he didn't stay long, leaving around midnight. Again, it was reported that he did not appear drun

Small steps, daily. Set up a LinkedIn profile This week, I am going to set up a LinkedIn profile for my writing. I'm feeling quite nervous about this as although I have been writing this blog for 5 years now, I don't have any "work experience" when it comes to writing. It feels a bit like a catch-22 situation as I may not get writing work with no experience, but how can I get experience if no one will hire me? Well, no one is going to know anything about me if I don't put anything out there so this will be a good step in the right direction. Incorporate some movement into my days. I need to find something I enjoy to get me moving more. I'm feeling overweight and unfit and the exercises I have done in the past seem like such a chore, so this week I am getting up, getting my happy playlist on and I am going to have a little dance for a few songs. I think I'll enjoy starting the day like that. Finish the online SEO course I started this course a co

Who doesn't like eating out? I like to try new restaurants, here are some of my favourites in London M. Manze Pie & Mash is my all-time favourite food. When I lived in London, I used to go for pie & mash at lunchtime, if we weren't that hungry, we'd have mash and liquor, or if you went to the right shops, chips, and liquor. There are lots of pie & mash shops in London, but M. Manze is one of the more well-known shops. Don't turn your nose up at the "green stuff" it's delicious! The Bulls Head Hotel I love this venue. I've drank here, ate here, and the husband and I got married here. The food is delicious, if I go out for a roast dinner, this is first on my list. Aside from being a hotel and wedding venue, they 2 indoor bars, where you can eat, the main restaurant, and a gorgeous outside seating area with an outdoor bar, they are also super dog friendly. The Bulls Head is just outside London in the leafy suburb of Chislehurst. Gaucho

Learning, laughing & looking ahead Other Writers I read a lot of really good articles this week. I've learned so much in such a short space of time. I've been inspired I've picked up a lot of great tips and came away with lots to think about. An afternoon with the bestie I spent an afternoon with the bestie. We had lunch in her garden in the sun and caught up on each other's lives. We always have so much to talk about and it feels like a really fun therapy session. Rejigged my routine I took away a lot of things from the articles and some of them relate to my routine. I sat down on Friday and planned not only my content for the week but also set out a rough plan for the week. I just need to remember that things don't always go to plan and that's ok. What are you grateful for this week? ♥️

My week in a rather large nutshell Friday brings PMS. Joy. A recent symptom it has decided to bestow upon me is sore, swollen gums as well as all the usual delightful things. I also had a dream that I went back to my old job it was more of a nightmare, I woke up in a cold sweat. I was a bit rattled by the uncharacteristic negativity I was feeling, but I was determined to push through. I got up, made myself a cup of tea, did some meditation, did my morning reflection, read my daily stoic & set my intentions for the day, but I wasn't feeling my usual sense of satisfaction. It was annoying me. The ring doorbell jangled to let me know someone was approaching our front door, the annoyance that hadn't yet subsided, racing back to the surface, when I realised who it was. Charity Bag Man. After lockdown, when clearly I didn't have enough to moan about, I decided to order a no junk mail sticker for my letterbox. Junk mail never bothered me before, but I developed a passion

A potential solution to the problems with the UK government I don’t claim to know the first thing about politics, but I’ve had 12 notifications on my phone this morning about all the people in the British government resigning, and to be honest, I’m pretty sick of hearing about how rubbish the UK government is. I believe when there is a problem, there should be a solution, so here is my proposal. Anyone who wants to run the country has to go on an Apprentice/Big Brother/Love Island type program where they will be filmed constantly and have to complete random tasks, maybe the Love Island eating challenge? Then the public can vote for their favourite/least favourite until we have whittled it down to our new government. They can be done every year and we can vote existing government members people back in or out, so if someone hasn’t kept their promises or is failing miserably, they will be gone. We can have Christmas specials, where we can see what they have been up to over the year

It had a surprising outcome We're halfway through the week! These days, I'm not sure if it's something to celebrate, as time seems to be moving far too fast. At the weekend, I hit a bit of a wall. I felt like I had very little positivity left in my tank and it really irked me. I spent far too much time thinking of ways to replenish the sunny disposition I have come to enjoy. The more I floundered, the more upset and frustrated I was getting until I stopped and asked myself, why I was clambering so desperately to feel happy? Apart from the obvious fact that feeling low is rubbish and that I have a fear that anytime I start to feel crap my depression is coming back, I realised that without these miserable, low moments, I would not feel the giddy heights of happiness that I feel and I certainly wouldn't appreciate them as much as I do now. So, I decided that rather than spend all my energy fighting with my feelings, I would embrace my Britishness and keep calm and ca