This is still me ❤️

The husband decided to provide some feedback on my last block post. To summarise, he didn’t like how I had tried to condense what I was trying to say, he said it felt rushed and didn’t have the same personality as my usual blog posts. I wouldn’t mind, but that blog post took me bloody ages, not to write, but to edit and condense so that people didn’t get bored with my ramblings. So now, you have him to thank if this post turns out to be too long :) The birthday was celebrated a bit too much at the weekend. I spent my actual birthday feeling a bit pissed off with myself for not being spritely enough to do anything and cancelling the plans that I had with the husband. I couldn't wait for Monday, when I would feel back to normal on again. If anything, I felt worse on Monday. I’ve had many a moody Monday in my time, but I don’t quite recall one this severe. I woke up tearful and unmotivated. Self deprecating thoughts flying about my brain, thinking of all the things I could have and

Whilst I was feeling sorry for myself on Sunday night we saw this was on @skytv I absolutely love the people just do nothing series and the movie was just as good! It really cheered me up! #peoplejustdonothing #tvshows #tv #tvshow #tvseries #movies #series #television #movie #film #comedy #funny #films

Today I am still suffering the after effects of the birthday celebrations, I don’t suffer with the traditional hangover like headaches and sickness. For me it’s more mental torture. After feeling on top of the world last week, I spent yesterday feeling fuzzy and exhausted and today swinging between tears and anger. I decided not to wallow, which is easy to think about but not so easy to follow through with. Firstly I didn’t allow myself to listen to that inner voice and talk myself out of my morning routine. I know my meditation and self reflection is beneficial, so even if I have to cry whilst doing it, it’s getting done. I then forced myself into the shower, got dressed and walked to the shop to get some fresh air and more importantly some crusty rolls, which I really fancied for lunch. I then allowed myself an afternoon nap as I was shattered, but I felt slightly better and I actually went back up to the sanctuary and scheduled my first newsletter to go out on Substack tomorrow.

Today I am 41. I have spent the last few days celebrating with friends, which i have really enjoyed, but I am really missing the clear headed feeling of being alcohol free and the calm of my sanctuary. This week, I plan to: Stay on top of my skincare routine. I have been rubbish and not taking my make up off at night and I’m starting to notice the negative effect on my poor skin, I’m sure the copious amount of alcohol hasn’t helped either! Walk to and from my counselling session. I really enjoyed the walk last week, I’ll make sure I dress in my gym wear this time though so I’ll be more comfortable. Send my first newsletter on substack. I’m so excited about this and am planning to send this out either tomorrow or Tuesday. If you would like to receive this, you can sign up here https://thisisstillme.substack.com/ Hope you all have a great week 💖 #intention #love #meditation #mindfulness #selfcare #gratitude #selflove #motivation #healing #manifestation #inspiration #energy #spirituali

Life is good. The end of last week was filled with socialising, followed by some time at home, and I enjoyed every moment of it. Cheltenham was brilliant, from the moment we got on the coach at 7.30 am. I wore the dress, jacket and boots in the end, but I needn't have worried as much as I did, as people were wearing all different types of outfits. I somehow felt fine the following day, which was fortunate as I was meeting my friend Carol for lunch and we hadn't seen each other since 2019! We chatted for two hours solid before she had to go on the school run and the husband and I had to make our way over to Essex. I was having an early birthday celebration with my family, what was supposed to be dinner and cabaret turned into dancing and trying to steal the mic off of the live singer at every opportunity. I hope I didn't make too much of a tit of myself as I am going back there tomorrow night with my friends. After all the celebrations, the husband conveniently contracted

This week I am halfway through reading; Her Perfect Family by Teresa Driscoll. Gemma Hartley is getting ready for her graduation, she is clearly anxious to make her parents proud, particularly her mother. At the ceremony, her parents sit proudly at the front, trying to pretend everything is ok between them, whilst it would appear that Gemma's phobia has come true as she stumbles and falls on stage. In actual fact, she has been shot. A private investigator, who was first on the scene, discovers that all is not as it seems. With the Hartley family hiding so many secrets, will the shooter be caught before they strike again? #reading #bookstagram #books #book #read #bookworm #booklover #bookish #booknerd #bookaddict #instabook #reader #bookshelf #booksofinstagram #bookstagrammer #bookaholic #literature #booklove #igreads #instabooks #readersofinstagram #bookblogger

MAFS Australia is back!!!! I'm not entirely sure how I have managed to not mention this in the last couple of weeks. Its on Monday - Thursday on E4 at 7.30pm, although I'm sure it used to be on 5 days a week? I feel like a don't have quite enough by the end of the week. As expected, there are some feisty characters but I don't have a favourite couple yet, which is unusual. I much prefer the Australian version to the UK one, although I will of course watch both. I find that with the Australian one you see more of their time together and it doesn't feel so rushed. I missed it so much at the weekend that I started watching season 5, which I missed, just to get my MAFS fix, it certainly helped the hangover. #tvshows #tv #tvshow #tvseries #series #television #shows #drama #realitytv #mafsaustralia #mafsau

I'm a little bit excited. During my many hours of scrolling, I came across a website called Substack. Substack is an online platform where writers can send digital newsletters directly to subscribers, so I thought I would take a look. The idea is that I will condense my daily postings into one newsletter, which will get emailed to anyone who wishes to subscribe. The husband, for example was having a moan up before that he didn't want to see any of the "what I am watching" or "what I am reading" posts, he knows all that, he's more interested in the actual writing, probably to check if he has done anything wrong that week!! So from next week, I will send a newsletter where the main body will be any written posts I have sent out and anything additional I have posted can be found at the bottom of the newsletter, so if there is anything you're not interested in, you can easily skim through, there will probably also be some additional things snuck in t

It’s the first Monday of spring! I love all the seasons for different reasons. Spring, brings us more hours of daylight, warmer weather and for me, it always feels like a time of new beginnings. Today, I’m feeling pretty positive and I honestly believe my new habits play a big part in this, so I thought I would share these with you for some Monday Motivation. Fuel First The first thing I do each morning is feed Toby. I know that if I try and do anything else before doing this, he will be complaining and interrupting me until I feed him. Once he is fed and watered, I make myself a smoothie - I use a really easy recipe from BBC Good Food and I fill up my 2 litre bottle with squash, as I am rubbish and drinking water otherwise. Once I am armed with my fuel for the morning, I head up to the sanctuary, where I put some concoction of Essential Oils into my Neom diffuser and take my vitamins (Magnesium, B12, & Vitamin C with Zinc) S.A.V.E.R.S second Its then time to complete some of my

It was a busy week for me last week. I spent the first part of the week fretting about what I had to do at the end of the week. When Saturday arrived and I had some free time again, I was exhausted and could not seem to move. The week ahead I intend to plan better; next weekend is my birthday, so I have plenty to look forward to. After that, I will be focusing all my energy on paying off my remaining debt, which means less time to go out, which is actually a good thing for me, since this will allow me to spend more time writing. This week we will have more painting done in the house, so once again the house will be upside down. I know this affects me mentally, so I need to put things in place that will help. Thankfully, I have my sanctuary to retreat to and we will be able to sleep in our own bed this time! In the last week, I let my writing slide and took a couple of days off from blogging, so I'm putting in an hour each weekday this week to write, so when Friday gets here I'

Tomorrow, I am going to Cheltenham races. I've never been before, I've been to other races so I thought I knew what I was doing. Two weeks ago, I was casually perusing the internet, it came to my attention that Cheltenham attire is, in fact, very different to the likes of Ascot. The main thing being, its pretty casual. Not tracksuit casual, but Cheltenham races casual. Confused? Yes I was too. The dresses I have are either not really suitable for the chilly March weather or they are a bit too dressy. I scoured online for examples of what to wear. Aha! I see an outfit I like, its an A line skirt, top and knee high boots with a coat. Looks gorgeous. I can easily recreate this. I do some online shopping and manage to find the perfect skirt, I add it to my basket, along with a few different types tops and I already have a couple of pairs of black knee high boots. Sorted. That was pretty painless. The parcel arrives. I put it on the sofa and pretend its not there. I can never b

Today has been overshadowed by a cloud of self doubt. Just when I thought I knew where I was going, I began to question it. I'm not questioning what I want, I am certain of that now, I am just questioning whether I can achieve it. Then I realised that is now dark outside and I have been sat in the sanctuary writing since lunchtime. Not only can I achieve it, I am achieving it. Another gem of wisdom from @Projecthappiness_org #positivity #positivevibes #love #motivation #inspiration #happiness #selflove #life #goodvibes #happy #quotes #mindset #goals #selfcare #positive #positivethinking #instagood #mindfulness #mentalhealth #smile #inspire #intentions

I've been feeling pretty sluggish lately so I think its high time I reintroduced some exercise into my day. I now have the couch to 5k app on my phone so I plan to actually use it this week! I think I'll try and mix it up by adding some yoga and maybe some simple body weight exercises so I'm not doing the same things day in and day out. I would also like to write at least two more chapters of my book, taking me to 7 chapters, if I can continue at this rate, I will have first draft fairly soon. Last but not least, I am going to look into writing competitions to enter, it makes me nervous even thinking about it but I am going to get out of this comfort zone if it kills me! #intention #love #meditation #mindfulness #selfcare #gratitude #selflove #motivation #healing #manifestation #inspiration #energy #spirituality #purpose #manifest #intentionalliving #life #intuition #goals #wellness #consciousness #mindset #spiritual #believe #awareness #success #exercise #writing

The past week has been rough. Thankfully, I think I am over the worst of it. Midweek, I finished reading Miracle Morning. Just getting those small tasks done in the morning makes such a difference to how I approach my day. In spite of my mood swings, I found staying on track easy, I even looked forward to it each day. The husband put the shelf up in The Sanctuary, meaning I could finally add the finishing touches. In fact, I am really glad I didn't go out and buy stuff to put in there. I may put another vision board on the other side of the shelf, but I have not quite decided yet. Best of all, I finally got back to writing the book. That was such a good feeling. As a result of that honest and open conversation with my counsellor, I reflected on a lot of things. I don't want to waste any more time looking back and wondering what could have been. What have I got to lose? Seeing as it's what I love, why not do it? And if something good comes out of it, even better. After ta

Feeling extremely grateful. My mood swings have finally swung away, probably due to the long awaited arrival of auntie flo. Today I spent practically the entire day in the sanctuary. When all my avoidance tactics ran out (hoovering & cleaning carpets was todays fave) I actually sat down to write the book. Imagine my surprise when I realised I had already written 5 chapters! How had I forgotten this? I tried to talk myself into starting something new, this was no good, it wouldn’t work. I decided to read it again, since I had forgotten all about it. By the time I finished reading (and tweaking) I was quite happy with my work, so I am now excited to carry on with my goal of writing every day. 🙌🏻 #positivity #positivevibes #love #motivation #inspiration #happiness #selflove #life #goodvibes #happy #quotes #mindset #goals #selfcare #positive #positivethinking #instagood #mindfulness #mentalhealth #smile #inspire #intentions

We were discussing my mood swings over the past couple of weeks in my counselling session today. I have been circling around, happy & positive, irritation & rage and miserable and sobbing . Round and round it goes like the worst fairground ride ever invented and I want to get off! I started the session on a positive, showing her the sanctuary and then went on to have a little moan about the husband, he hadn't actually done anything, I was well aware it was me with the problem and it was more of a moan about his lack of psychic ability rather than anything else, I complained about the clutter in my house, how I wasn't sleeping properly, despite being back in my own bed and generally the only time I felt positive, was in my sanctuary, except, I was finding myself doing anything and everything but writing the book I had been dreaming of writing my whole life, in fact, I had talked myself out of the idea. As I have said before, writing books has been my dream since child

It’s finally finished!!! I am s o happy with how it’s turned out. It really is my little sanctuary. I have lots of things in there given to me by some of my favourite people and also a lot of fabulous items from my @treatboxuk over the last 2 years 🥰 #selfcare #selflove #love #loveyourself #mentalhealth #motivation #wellness #health #positivevibes #inspiration #happiness #life #mindfulness #positivity #healing #happy #yourself #mindset #meditation #lifestyle #selfimprovement #writingroom #mysanctuary

I have been looking into how I can get paid for writing, it is the dream that I want to become a reality. I'm almost 41 and I want to leave the rat race and get paid to do something I love, life is too damn short. My blog page was born in 2017 on Wordpress which I linked to a Twitter profile. When I started writing, it was very anonymous. I only told my closest friends, I wasn't confident enough to tell people that this is what I was doing. In 2019 I took the leap and created pages on Facebook & Instagram, I was writing regularly on Wordpress and thought it was time to try and get a bigger audience and eventually added my page to other blogging and social media sites such as Wix, Blogger, Bloglovin, Pintrest, Tumbler & Medium. I recently saw an article stating that you can get paid for articles that are posted on Medium. Well, I try and post something every day on all platforms, this seems like the perfect place to start so I looked into it. There are 3 things you ne

On Mondays, I like to start the week by posting something inspiring to set the right tone for the coming week, however, if I did that today, I would be bullshitting you if I said I had started my day off like that. The last couple of days I have been really irritated for no reason, my house is upside down, our bedroom furniture is everywhere from the decorators being in and we have been sleeping in the boys bunk beds. If I am honest, I have felt out of sorts for the last week or so and I just want it to fuck right off. This morning, I had planned to start doing the S.A.V.E.R.S. but when I woke up (on the bottom bunk surrounded by crap) all I wanted to do was have a cup of tea and plonk myself in front of the TV for a bit. I felt groggy, like I had a hangover, but I hadn't had any alcohol since Friday. I wasn't even trying to kid myself and say I would sit in front of the TV for an hour and do it after, I just didn't want to do it. I could not be bothered. What a great st

I'm not going to lie, I woke up this morning in a bit of a negative mood. I couldn't shake the feeling that my dream of giving up the rat race and becoming a writer full time, was only ever going to be just that and it left me feeling pretty fucking depressed. I haven't been in my sanctuary since Thursday. I was at a funeral on Friday and this weekend we have had decorators upstairs, so as soon as the they left this morning, I got into my little woman cave, put some motivating essential oils in my diffuser and read the next chapter of The Miracle Morning, which fully motivated me to set my intentions for the week. The chapter I have just read was called The Life S.A.V.E.R.S. Which are the below six practices to carry out each morning. - Silence - Affirmations - Visualisation - Exercise - Reading - Scribing I was really happy to see that I already do a couple of these things as part of my morning and evening routine, which means it wouldn't be such a massive overhaul to

This week I’ve spent most mornings in the sanctuary, I have been putting my @neomorganics diffuser on with some energising scents and reading @dailystoic, followed by a chapter of The Miracle Morning and then I have been getting some writing done, I just love spending time in there 🥰 This morning we had the first coat of paint on our bedroom and it should be finished tomorrow so we are a step closer to putting the house on the market! #gratitude #love #grateful #happiness #meditation #motivation #inspiration #blessed #selflove #mindfulness #peace #thankful #life #positivevibes #selfcare #family #happy #nature #lawofattraction #joy #thankyou #abundance #healing #success #positivity #mindset

I have been reading a chapter of Miracle Morning each day. I’m finding it really motivating, especially as I am in the process of trying to make some significant changes to my life. In the chapter I read this morning, it talks about waking up with purpose and not just wanting to stay in bed. I have found lately that I have been doing just this, I can’t wait to get up and get into the sanctuary and write so I feel like am definitely on the right track 😊 #reading #bookstagram #books #book #read #bookworm #booklover #bookish #booknerd #bookaddict #instabook #reader #bookshelf #booksofinstagram #bookstagrammer #bookaholic #booklove #morningmiracles #positivity #positivevibes #motivation #inspiration #mindset #goals #selfcare #positive #positivethinking #mindfulness #inspire #intentions

My friend recommended this to me. I hadn't actually looked up what it was about, I was just casually scrolling through the TV menu when I recognised it from our conversation so I just downloaded it. The first episode had me really intrigued, it bounces between to 1996 to present day, showing the girls then and now. Its apparent something happened after that plane crash, the question is, what? #tvshows #tv #tvshow #tvseries #series #television #hollywood  #drama shows #drama #yellowjackets

Wednesday 2nd March I posted lists last month around self care and what makes me happy and I also post my intentions for each week. I thought it would be a good idea to look back on February and see what went well, how I looked after myself and where I can make improvements. Over February, I set the below intentions and achieved them - Drink Less alcohol - I am finding that I don't enjoy alcohol as much as I once did and better still, I don't feel like I need it when I am having a shit day, in fact, I usually avoid it now. I realised after the last weekend that it really bloats me, leaves me feeling groggy and gives me blotchy skin, is it really worth it? - Don't fill up my diary - I have put saying no into practice, especially things in the evening. It feels really good. I do tend to say to people I will see how I feel on the day if I can and make my decision then, based on how I am feeling at the time. I hate cancelling, but I also hate dreading things and wishing

Tuesday 1st March I was in such a good mood yesterday morning, despite being awoken by the husband snoring practically in my ear. I got up and decided to make the most of the extra hours in the day and put a film on downstairs, my attention was soon distracted and I ended up writing a blog post instead. At 7am, I decided to jump in the shower after which I braved the scales, sadly the fact that I haven't eaten in less than 12 hours has not lost me 2 stone, rude. I have found that weighing & measuring myself regularly (once a week or so) helps me keep my weight more under control, if I don't, my brain decides I am skinny and I can eat what I want, which hasn't been the case since 2010. Even the scales cannot ruin my positive mood! I make myself a smoothie, keen to get more fruit and veg on board after the boozy birthday celebrations for the husband at the end of last week and I take myself off to the sanctuary to read my first chapter or Miracle Morning, which is just